I've got more ugly on the inside than beauty.

I haven't felt this alone in a long time.
Or maybe I have, the feeling has always been there, but I just push it aside.
I don't know. I don't like to think about it.
I do isolate myself a lot though.
I'm trying to hold onto every little distraction available to me.
When it fades, I kind of panic.
Scrambling for the next thing to catch my attention in a good way.
Time consuming,
They never do last.
I appreciate everything now.
But, I don't think I'm supposed to be here.
I don't know where I'm supposed to go.
I don't like to think about the future too much.
It makes me feel uncomfortable when I actually try to figure out what I'm going to do.

I don't want to live anymore.
I feel stuck again.
I can't bring myself to do it and also the fact that, if I do do it, is it true that I'd just go straight to the place I don't want to go?
Life is pain. I hate life.
"Your teen years are always the hardest part in your life."
Maybe. I just wish it would end sooner.
I don't even know what the fuck I want to do with my life. Which way to go. And once again, I can't relate to anyone anymore.
Maybe on the 21st, something incredible will happen. I hope I didn't do anything to change or alter what will happen.

God.
I wish somebody would just kill me now, please and thank you.

Zeus's kittens were born today.
Guess what day it is today?
FUCKING 19TH.